This isn't my first fan fic in this fandom. My second actually. Please tell mewhat youthink of it.
Pairing - Slight Hakkai/Gojyo but nothing shown. (In fact, they aren't having sex. It just makes the story funnier. I couldn't figure out how to get it in there without it becoming tacky)
Rating - R - But only because of the bird’s and the bee’s talk.
Summary - Goku and Lirin hear odd noises, when they investigate they have some questions and only one (possibly two) can answer them.
“Oh man…” the roaring sound coming from his stomach made Goku mumble. He was so hungry. He could feel his stomach shriveling in on him. If only Sanzo was around to bother then maybe he’d get a meat bun or a dozen for a snack. Nonetheless, he went through his pockets. Sometimes Sanzo would hide some coinage in a nook or cranny of his clothing as a surprise. It took him a while to find it, usually. But, when he was desperate, it was a fun game.
He jumped up and down to get an idea of where any coin could be. He found twenty yen in seven different pockets. He slobbered at the thought of the snack he could get with it. He continued down the road of the small village they had stopped in for a few days. Hikaru was horribly tired and so Sanzo had decided, with no glares or knowing smiles from Hakkai, that it would be best for them all to get a small holiday.
After all, they too would be no match for anyone if they were tired because they had pushed to get to the west and the Merciful Goddess hadn’t given them a time limit anyway. Which was a good thing.
Sniffling from an alley way distracted him from his thoughts and he turned to see who could possibly be crying. Life couldn’t be that hard? He was stuck on a mountain for five hundred years of his life. Who could be in a worse predicament. He stepped into the ally way to see who could be crying.
He wasn’t surprised to see; “Lirin!?”
She jumped up, surprised, and hurriedly wiped away her tears; “Goku? What are you doing here?” Lirin asked.
“We’re resting, Sanzo say’s we’re no good to anyone unless we rest as well. What happened to you?” Goku asked. She was a nice girl, when she wasn’t being annoying.
“Brother got mad at me for something stupid. I don’t know why he’s so pissed off, he never tells me anything!” she stomped her foot.
“Oh, well…maybe he needs a vacation too. Wanna come and get a meat bun with me? I have enough money for us both to have one,” Goku invited. Lirin smiled at him and nodded her head. Food always made her feel better.
She and Goku wondered down the street speaking as if they were best friends. They laughed at each other’s jokes and Goku imitated Sanzo for her. Which Lirin giggled at.
“Do you like him?” Goku wondered, suddenly.
“Huh? Like who?” she asked, confused. Goku paid for their meat buns.
“Not like a boyfriend or anything. I mean, I’m older than him by miles, he’s just too young for me!” Lirin giggled, “But he is cute,” she amended.
“Cute? Sanzo? Are you kidding me?” Goku laughed. By now they were back at the small Inn that they were staying at. They sat on a bench outside, nibbling on their snacks. It was then that they heard it.
“I don’t want to hurt you….maybe a bit more lotion?”
“It’s fine, I like what you can do with your hands….”
“What is going on?” Lirin asked. Goku had gone red in the face.
“Maybe….maybe they’re…you know,” he winked.
“Making babies,” Goku replied. Now Lirin went red in the face. She giggled again and Goku looked away, embarrassed at the thought.
“Goku….do you know where babies come from?” Lirin asked.
She shook her head in a negative. Goku sighed.
“Than let’s ask Sanzo. He must know,” Goku perked up. Lirin thought about it. Kougaiji wouldn’t be happy, but he wouldn’t tell her a thing. So, what trouble could they get in by asking the Priest anyway?
“All right, let’s go find him,” she jumped up.
They found Sanzo twenty minutes later in a small sitting area of the garden the Inn hosted, smoking and reading his paper.
“Sanzo! There you are!” Goku ran over to him, Lirin following.
“Oh…what are you doing here?” Sanzo gave a look at Lirin.
“Brother got mad at me, Goku found me, and then we had a snack, but…we have a question for you,” she grinned.
“Is it something I am going to regret hearing?” Sanzo asked.
“You’re the only person who will explain anything, Sanzo! You gotta tell us all about it!” Goku danced.
“Sit down, both of you,” Sanzo glared as he folded his paper and put it to the side but within easy distance to hit Goku with; “What question is so important that you had to interrupt me?”
“Where do babies come from?” Lirin asked innocently. Goku peered at Sanzo who had gone white and didn’t look as if he was breathing, at all.
“Sanzo…are you…all right?”
“Er…” that was stupid, Sanzo decided; “What brought this on?” he asked.
“We heard noises from Gojyo and Hakkai’s room,” Goku replied.
“You two have incredible hearing…” Sanzo muttered. Then he sighed.
“I think Kougaiji will have my head if I tell Lirin anything. Maybe,” and here he quirked an eyebrow at her, “You should ask him,”
“He never tells me anything!” Lirin pouted.
“Fine, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to get mad because something is embarrassing. Sex isn’t something that I do anyway. I’ve only had the Abbot at my child hood temple tell me what it was and he was old,” Sanzo replied.
Goku and Lirin crawled closer to him, Goku fisted a bit of Sanzo’ robe in a fist.
“When a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man….the first thing they do is get married,” Sanzo started.
“But Gojyo isn’t married,” Goku piped up.
“I’m doing that for Kougaiji, some people don’t get married, however, it’d be better that you do. Anyway, when they get married…” he stopped talking, “The man…” and here he sighed and bowed his head.
“Damn. I can’t do it,”
“Do what? Perform?” the pissed off laughter from the tree’s above surprised Goku and Lirin but Sanzo had been aware of the presence since Lirin and Goku found him.
“Brother!” Lirin jumped to her feet, pissed, “You get down here and tell me what sex is about!” she demanded. Kougaiji was there, suddenly sitting on the bench next to Sanzo.
“Hey, is pretty boy all right?” Kougaiji asked with a smirk. He didn’t count on getting smacked with the news paper.
“I’m still mad at you, brother, so you deserved that,” Lirin stuck out her tongue at him.
“Sanzo, just tell us what your teacher told you,” Goku said, wanting to know the answer.
“Fine…” Sanzo glance at Kougaiji before continuing, “The man’s penis goes into the woman’s vagina, and if no contraception is taken….they have a baby nine months later,” and then he stood. Hit Goku with the newspaper, and stomped off for the Inn.
Lirin watched, then she turned to her brother; “Okay….but how do boy’s do it?”
Goku suddenly grew red, but waited, curious as well; “Oh, that damn priest got the easy one!” Kougaiji moaned and fell off the bench.
“I have a better idea,” Goku got up to his feet, “Let’s ask Hakkai and Gojyo! They know how to do it!” and off they ran. Leaving Lougaiji to twitch on the ground.
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